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Let Love be our aim.

As children we might have heard that sticks and stones may break our bones, but words can never hurt me. That is a lie if a lie was ever spoken. Words hurt and wound. Even words that are intended to inform, educate, enlighten, and to some extent inspire others to share how we think. Sometimes however, people will for– whatever reason, refuse to see as we see.

In those cases, love is the standard for all communication. I have heard believers who I know love the Lord with all that is in them, say things these past few day that makes my heart cringe. LOVE MUST BE OUR AIM. Our perspective may be completely clear; our information may be completely accurate; our knowledge may be beaming with clarity and insight…

But if it is delivered in a way that wounds, harms, hurts, angers… If it does not have the motive of healing, restoring, uniting, and revealing the love of God;

We have become deceived by our own viewpoint. Because if our VIEW does not POINT others to the CROSS and the LOVE it was sent to REVEAL…

Whose viewpoint is it? And where did it come from?

It is perfectly all right for people to have a perspective that doesn’t mirror our own. The problem becomes when we intend to convince others that they have to see the same way that we see. No one is required to share our perspective. Every person has the right to see as they choose to see; As long as they respect the fact that others have the same right, we can live and work together.
As believers in Jesus Christ there is a higher standard for sharing our perspective. Proverbs 31:26 speaks of the woman of Proverbs as having her mouth filled with wisdom and her tongue holding the law of kindness. I feel like that is an ancient way of recognizing that those of us who choose to live under the influence of the kingdom of God will use words that release kindness out of the wisdom we are endeavoring to share. If there is no kindness in it, then perhaps there is no love of God within the words we speak. If there is no love there is no life. Jesus came to give us life and to give us life in abundance.
What we say should be constructive. We should speak words that unite not divide each other. If you cannot agree, love instead. Be patient. Be kind. Love is ready to believe the best of others.
So as you press forward towards this election, keep in mind how we choose to use our tongue. Let us pay attention to what we say not only in words but in intention and spirit.
Here are five ways we can maximize our words while guarding and protecting the hearts of the listeners.
1. Avoid being rude. Isaiah 35:8 in the message translation reads… There will be a highway called holy. No one rude or rebellious is permitted on this road. It is for God’s people exclusively.
2. Avoid intimidating others by what you say.To intimidate others is to say things in a way that causes them to withdraw in fear or discomfort.
3. Avoid speaking in harsh tones. Proverbs 15:1 says a gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger. Sometimes the best response is silence. It’s not easy to walk away from an argument at times. This is we’re having an era sensitive to the voice of the Holy Spirit is vital. Make it a habit to Stop in the middle of a conversation and ask the Holy Spirit  if you should speak and what should you say.
4. Avoid being a know it all. Proverbs 12:23 says A prudent man conceals knowledge. And proverbs 29:11 says in the passion translation you could recognize fools by the way they give all the vent to the rage and let the words of life! But the wise bite their tongue and hold back all they could say. That passage need no further explanation.
5. Avoid being judge mental. Matthew 7:1-2 says do not judge or you will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged. One of the things that marked Jesus and made him a unique and his perspective was his unwillingness to judge others by his own standards. Even though he was perfectly within his right to condemn others, Jesus withheld judgment. He used this technique as a strategic style of ministry to withhold judgment and to allow people to come into the knowledge of truth for themselves. Love has that effect on people.
Now, there are lots of other things we could do to release the love of God by withholding words that don’t benefit others as listeners as much as SAYING those words benefit us in saying them. Love makes the hearers needs paramount. It reduces our own need to vent our thoughts or release our perspective or tell others how much we know. That is not the most important thing. The important thing is to recognize the long-term goal of every exchange being a tool to show the love of Christ now so that people will come to know Christ later.

Post Author: Stella Payton

Stella Payton is principal of Making People Priority Consulting Group. Over the past (25) years, she has worked with Apple Computer, Nordstrom, FedEx / Kinko's, VISTA, National Corporation for Service, P-B Health Home Care Agency Inc., The City of Los Angeles, Head Start, KCET Los Angeles Public Television, TurboTax, Child Fund, Memphis Public Schools and many others. For more about Stella Payton contact us at

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